Early Morning

THE HEAT IN THE TRAIN was unbearable. Lots of windows were open, but the slow crawl through the scorching hot plains made it too hot for the feeble movement of air to ever make much difference. It took three hours to make our way to my grandma’s because the only type of train that made it all the way to her was the one that stopped in every dusty little station along the way. I always wanted to take a faster train to the nearby town and then wait for this lazy bugger to crawl its way there and ride it for the twenty minutes it took to reach my grandma’s stop. Mom said it was pointless because we’d end up waiting for close to two hours. Plus pay more. I guessed if we didn’t get there any earlier, I could understand her. But the sweat dripping down my skin and making me all sticky and itchy was hard to ignore.

I hadn’t been to Grandma’s since Christmas, and hadn’t stayed for more than a night since last summer. The initial horror and later total bliss that had been fifth grade was over. I was a year older, I was starting sixth grade in the autumn and I was at the top of my class. Of my new teachers, only one had a major problem with me because I looked like a girl to him. Luckily, it was my math teacher, and I loved math. Despite his taunting words and calling me “miss” every chance he got, I was still the best in my class and the pleasure of teaching me made him forget about my hair when grading me.

I suspected my mom had something to do with how I was treated by teachers. My homeroom teacher was her best friend, they spent a lot of time together, and I was sure she’d been my protector all year long. Especially with Mr. Iancu, my PE teacher, who’d glared at me and threatened to cut my hair by force all through primary school.

The closer we got to the village, the more impatient I got. It was two weeks into summer break. Grandma had told me on the phone everyone was already there and I couldn’t wait to see them all. Robert most of all. At Christmas, it had been just Tatiana, Nicu, and me. The other kids hadn’t braved the cold. Despite knowing Robert’s parents had no plans to come, I kept hoping he’d show up. It was all I could think of and the disappointment of not seeing him was awful.

Now I knew he was already there, and that he’d asked Grandma when I was coming. Like he cared about me or something. That should have made me confident, but I was terrified we’d have nothing to talk about, or that he’d grown up so much, he’d not want to play—not play, hang out!—with a little boy like me.

The walk from the station to Grandma’s house took forever. I wanted to drop the bags and run ahead, but it wasn’t worth Mother’s rage. So we dragged our luggage through the afternoon heat for the two kilometers we had to walk.

“Hi Grandma!” I hugged and kissed her quickly after dropping my backpack and two plastic bags in the middle of the summer kitchen. She laughed, hugged me back, and told me to get out.

I grinned and yanked my T-shirt off, using it to dry my face and upper body. The shoes and socks were next. I sighed when my bare feet touched the cold floor. “So much better.”

“Edi, clean this mess up,” Mom said when she saw the bags and clothes thrown on the floor.

“Let him be, child,” Grandma said, waving her off. “Run along, Edi. Grandma will put your things away.”

Grandma was the one we all listened to when we were at her house, but I still stole a quick look at my mom. She winked at me and nodded, and I was out the door like a wild storm. The golden chicks that couldn’t have been more than a couple of weeks old ran out of my way, making my exit a bigger ruckus.

Tatiana was outside on the bench, looking bored and sleepy. “Edi,” she yelped when she saw me, jumping down and running all the way to me. We hugged and she asked for a piggy back ride. She’d grown taller, but so had I, so it wasn’t like I couldn’t do it. I took her all the way to the bench and then sat with her.

“Why didn’t you come sooner?” There was something more than curiosity in her tone. Maybe a bit of accusation? She was smiling though, so it wasn’t that bad. Being missed still felt super good. It was a feeling I got from people I wasn’t related to, but it would have to do. Not like my father showed me much of it.

“Mom had to work and was too tired to make the trip.” I shrugged and pretended like it wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t about to tell a little girl about how my father had messed our plans last weekend. He’d promised to take me on a fishing trip, but then cancelled two hours after the time he was supposed to pick me up. Mom offered to bring me here but I was too upset. Plus, I didn’t think my blotchy red eyes would get back to normal that fast. When I cried, it showed for the rest of the day. So I made sure I didn’t cry much.

“Okay,” she said, full of cheer and a bit louder than my ears found comfortable.

Steps down the yard had me turn my head to see Robert walking slowly to the gate. He nodded his hello, and I did the same, my eyes glued to him. He seemed… different, older. Like he’d grown up a lot over the past year. He wasn’t much taller than last time, unlike me, but he did look mature. Like with most of the high school kids, there was such a glaring difference between him and me.

I’d never felt so small. Young, inexperienced, and so far behind Robert. My chest felt tight and my heart hammered wildly as he approached. He stopped inches away from me, his eyes at almost the same level as mine.

“You’ve grown, squirt. What do they feed you? Magic food?”

His voice was warm and playful and I couldn’t help smile in response. “Just food, dumb ass. Not my fault you got left behind.”

Robert ruffled my hair—was that a habit by now?—and laughed. His voice was deeper than last year and I liked the sound of it. It made me all warm inside. “Don’t get too cocky. You’re still shorter than me.” He reached for my ear and pulled until I yelped in pain. “See? Still wet behind the ears.”

I swatted his hand away and tried to glare at him. I couldn’t, all I could do was stare at him and smile. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed him before seeing him. School, friends, my parents’ drama, it had all distracted me. The truth was that I’d missed Robert more than I’d ever missed anyone before. I didn’t even miss Evelina this much, and she’d been my best friend since we were in diapers.

“Brat! Come sit down and tell me what you’ve been up to.” Robert turned and went to sit on the bench. I followed, of course, although I didn’t really know what I could tell him that would be even remotely interesting. I’d never thought of my life as dull, but when seeing the all grown-up Robert, it sure seemed that way. I knew it, he had lots of friends, and tons of girlfriends, and he was always doing something interesting in Bucharest.

We started talking about school and fun stuff we did in our spare time, and the conversation happened with ease. He laughed at some of my stories, I was mesmerized by his, and time flew by.

“So you picked up karate? Why?” Robert asked when we got to the new development of my athletic life. I’d always enjoyed playing outside, I played football and handball and basketball every chance I got. I could hold my own in a wrestle or shoving match.

“It’s what everyone’s doing, I guess.” I shrugged and looked at my feet as I dangled them in quick succession. It was a bit hard to do, I was too tall now to do it carelessly without grazing the chipped concrete of the sidewalk.

“Oh, really? All your friends do it, so you just followed along?” Robert was mocking me, I knew. I could have snapped back, but chose not to.

“Fine. It’s what I need to do,” I confessed, sighing deeply and letting my shoulders slump.

“Need to? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I have hair that’s longer than most of the girls. Other boys pick on me. I either cut my hair, or stand up to them. If I stand up to them, I might as well win.”

Robert laughed and pulled me in what I know thought of his typical one-armed hugs. “That’s my squirt! Don’t cut your hair, it looks good on you.”

If I’d ever even remotely considered cutting my hair, it would have all become history in that very moment. I couldn’t tell why, but Robert saying my hair looked good was the best compliment I’d ever received. It was worth all the “you’re such a girl” comments, the pushing and tripping and evil sniggers.

I smiled, but couldn’t look Robert in the eye. I nodded slowly and leaned into him, enjoying the closeness. He kept talking, those fights between neighborhoods were still happening. He told me about his friends, and school, and the movies he’d seen.

“So what about the girl?” I asked, thinking I didn’t need to specify which one.

“What girl? My girlfriend? I have several.” He said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It probably was for him, but it made me sad.

“Didn’t you say you picked a certain class at high school because of some girl that was going there as well?”

“Oh, that one! Yeah, she’s in my class. We hung out a couple of times, I touched her boobs, then moved on.”

He’d touched her boobs! I knew that was a big deal, but the idea made me shudder. What if I didn’t like it? What if I got caught? Robert squeezed my shoulder and I relaxed a bit, letting my head rest on his shoulder.

Robert even smelled different. It was still him I was sensing, but covered up by some deodorant. It was nice enough, but I missed the...